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Archive for April, 2010

Fast-Paced. Slow-Paced.

It has been over a month since I last updated. I can hardly keep up. New job, back to OKC, transitions at work, life feels a little more than a little overwhelming.

The other day I wrote a fake love letter. It was to help somebody with some project, that is irrelevant. But, it stirred something inside of me. A passion. A creative force. An ache in my finger tips for a pen. Memories of days when I could spend all sorts of time writing and daydreaming. I don’t want to say those days are over, but life sure does change.

I feel, despite the weariness in my shoulders, extraordinairly blessed. To have employment and a city that feels like home. To have friends who love me so generously through all the odd times in my life. That is something to remember when I start to feel achy and homeless. I am full of home. I am just a little derooted right now.

But, even that is not true. Shaken, yes, the last year…the last two years were hardly what I expected. They definitely were not what I thought I wanted. But, slowly I am learning how expectations are too often unmet and what we think we want is laughable. And even more slowly I am learning that is not a bad thing.

My life is fast-paced.

My heart is not.

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